Wait Why Am I Embarrassed About This?

Love Notes & Lessons 5: 1/12/26

Dear Sof,

This week’s note is about why society chooses to question some people for what they choose to enjoy, and the powerful realization that I should never be embarrassed about what I like.

One day in 2019, I was scrolling through my YouTube recommendations. I stumbled across a video titled BTS (FIRE) Official MV. I was bored and saw a boy group, so of course I clicked on it. One video turned into two, and two turned into an obsession centered on the Korean boy group BTS.

I was drawn in by the endearing members, elaborate performances, and their messages of self-love and confidence. I was excited to share my new favorite artists with those around me. Instead of being met with curiosity, I was met with judgment.

“What’s wrong with BTS?” I thought initially. Every time I shared it with someone, I would get weird looks, laughs, or the “So you're a Black girl obsessed with Korean men?” The more people I told, the more judgment I got in return. So my interest became quiet. I stopped talking about it publicly and mentioning it to those around me. I was suddenly embarrassed for liking something that was seemingly different from the norm. I would watch their music videos in private, going deeper into the world of K-pop. But if asked, I would never mention them as my favorite boy band or singers.

BTS

Eventually, my interest became so private that I grew out of it. If I couldn’t share my love with others, what’s the point of keeping it to myself? My interest sparked again when I reached high school. I had found a group of friends who unapologetically embraced K-pop. They would listen to it on blast, have photocards on the back of their phones, and mention it as their favorite music.

Seeing this helped me embrace my interest as well, until I came into predominantly Black spaces. I learned that it wasn’t as welcome here. It was a deviation from the standard interest; therefore, it was met with a lot of judgment. I became more selective. With some circles and friend groups, I would share, but most people wouldn’t be aware of my interest.

Stray Kids

The final stage in this journey came as I started college. In my first week on campus, one of my friends had told me they enjoyed BTS. I paused; never before had I seen someone who looked like me openly express their love for K-pop. Something about it clicked in my head. Why am I hiding this piece of myself?

There’s something beautiful in learning to accept every piece of yourself, even the ones that may be different from the average. Individuality is what makes life worth living. If we are all the same, what’s the point? I think if everyone found beauty in embracing everyone’s unique interests, we would be living in a world that is much more open and a lot less jaded.

So, to everyone reading, I encourage you to have your weird likes and interests. They make you, YOU. And being happy with yourself is inherently more important than trying to force yourself into a box to make others happy. Always remember, embarrassment doesn’t exist.

With Love,

Sof 🎀